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Welcome to another fanfiction review. I'm going to be reviewing Zack Treadway's first fanfiction. I have very mixed feelings about this story. I personally think that the story is very raw, and a bit unfinished. It feels very rushed. It was Zack's first fanfiction, so I don't blame him for that. This story is also a bit weird because all of the chapters are on one blog post, unlike the rest of us that separate them, but that definitely makes this story unique. 

I'm sorry, Zacky Boy, but I strongly dislike your character in this story. He is a terribly written character, and shows almost no personality. He's more of a machine than a human. I don't understand why he does the things that he does, and he isn't a believable character at all. He does something very fucked up for absolutely no reason at all. He's lucky that he is in a different timeline, because someone would need to have a word with him about what he did. None of the characters in this story are any good, honestly. 

This is going to be my least positive review, but it isn't negative. I hope that I never have to do a negative review. 

Let's get this review started. 

Chapter 1: Prologue - 5/10 

Meh. This chapter is alright. It introduces the characters, what they are all about, and nothing is really happening. I don't have much to say about this chapter, to be honest. It's very average. Let's move on. 

Chapter 2: Streetlights, Peglegs, and Gunshots - 6/10 

This chapter is bad, but it does have one redeeming quality. I have no idea why the main character and his friends attack Gehrman and Maria. Why did they do that? I don't understand. What did they do? I don't get it. The only redeeming quality of this chapter is that the "good guys" get their asses kicked. Overall, Zacky could have made a good chapter instead of this shit. 

Chapter 3: Hunters, Doctors, and Punks - 8/10 

This is probably the only chapter that I really like in this story. It is very interesting, has some good action, yet I still don't know why the main characters are attacking these people. What's the fucking reason? Maybe they're just a bunch of Warmongering ass-hats. That seems accurate. 

Chapter 4: Blood, Tissue, and Metal - 0/10 

I hate this chapter so fucking much. It's too much for me. Zack tortures Maria in the most fucked up ways imaginable for no fucking reason. Why does she deserve this? She didn't do anything to him. I actually had to leave and come back to this chapter at least 10 times in order to finish it. If I didn't do that, I would have vomited. Jesus Christ. This chapter is so unnecessary. I usually praise chapters for being descriptive, but this is one of the few times where I think that the little details go too far. I don't like having those images stuck in my head, and I'm still trying to get them out of my head right now. Nope, too late. It's in my brain now. God fucking dammit. 

Chapter 5: What was lost... - 5/10 

I could not find any enjoyment out of this story after reading chapter 4. I did not enjoy this chapter. Not because of anything that happens in this chapter. This chapter is not bad, but the previous chapter ruined this story for me. I'm sorry, Zacky. 

Pros 

  • Very original 
  • Pretty descriptive 

Cons 

  • Chapter 4. 
  • Terrible characters. 
  • Poorly written story. 
  • Dumb chapter titles. 

Verdict 

This story is shitty. Okay, maybe not. It's good, but I'm never going to read it again. I'm probably never going to be able to get chapter 4 out of my head. This story gets a 6.1/10. I'm sorry, Zacky.