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Return of the Lancer is the first chapter of my seventeenth fanfiction, “Return of the Lancer”. I’m releasing this early. I have to write this on my iPhone 6 right now, so it might not be perfect, but we’ll have to see. This chapter is pretty good. At least, I think that it’s good, you ungrateful bastards. Sorry about that.

Wait until you see how many women Harold slept with in the last 25 years. It’s more than a thousand. That’s for sure. Take that, Van fucking Helsing! Harold’s a bigger player than you, you piece of shit! I hate that guy. I’m just messing around, if you can’t tell. I like Van Helsing. I prefer him in Into the Labyrinth. The insane Van Helsing gets kind of annoying after a while. Harold is still a bigger player than him, though.

Return of the Lancer

Harold and Henriett hugged, very happy to see each other after all of those years. Harold hugged her tightly, and Henriett did the same. They didn’t speak for a few minutes. Harold backed up and tried to kiss her, but she pushed him away slightly.

Henriett: How many women did you sleep with while you were away?

Harold: Well, for the first two weeks, no one. After that, I slept with a woman every night. Actually, half of the nights over the last 25 years were with 2 women. And with 8 women that one time.

Henriett: I’m actually happy that you did.

Harold: Okay then. Is that really the first thing that you asked me?

Henriett: Sorry. I’m very happy to see you. It’s been far too long. Where were you?

Harold: I was at the Ice Reaper’s citadel.

Henriett: Really? Why?

Harold: No one would be able to find me there. There were a lot of people there. I probably slept with every woman that was there.

Henriett smiled, and kissed Harold. They stopped kissing when they heard the front door open. Henriett told Harold to wait inside the bedroom until she told him to come out. Jack and Lydia didn’t know that their father had finally come home. Henriett was nervous about introducing them to Harold.

Henriett: Something great has happened, children.

Jack: What?

Lydia: What happened?

Henriett looked at Harold, and nodded. He then came out of the bedroom, and looked at his two children. They instantly knew who he was. They couldn’t think of what to say, so Harold spoke first.

Harold: Hello there. Do you know who I am?

They were still speechless.

Harold: Huh. Well, I thought that my rugged good looks would make that obvious. I’m your father.

They finally knew what to say.

Jack: I never thought that we would ever meet you.

Lydia: I was starting to lose hope.

Harold: Did you like that trick that I did with the sky? Well, I didn’t do that. My uncle Kolar has this special power where he can change the color of the sky. I wish that I could do that. What are your names?

Henriett: Jack and Lydia.

Harold smiled.

Harold: That’s exactly what I wanted to name my children. That makes me very happy. Do I get a hug?

Jack and Lydia ran up to Harold, and gave him a big hug.

Harold: It’s good to be home. I won’t leave you for that long again. I promise.

Harold backed away, and looked at his children. He pointed at Lydia.

Harold: That armor that you’re wearing is very interesting. It looks like my sister’s.

Lydia: I know.

Harold: I miss her.

Henriett grabbed Harold’s hand, and brought him over to the dinner table. He sat down, and his children sat down as well. He smiled.

Harold: We have a lot of catching up to do.

Credits

Thank you for reading this chapter. Tell me what you think in the comments.